Final thoughts as I prepare to leave India......

Goa:
Molly and I spent 5 nights in Goa right at the end of the tourist season (the monsoon rains actually started on the day we left!). It seemed like a lot of Indians had gone there for their holidays as it was pretty busy on the beaches but I don't have a lot to report as we were pretty lazy and just spent time on the beach/ shopping. One thing of note is that we were constantly having photos taken of us. To be fair, though, we were wearing bikinis when all of the other women on the beach were fully clothed! I spoke to one lady who asked if she could take a photo (at least she asked!). I explained that I didn't want her to take a photo as the only reason she was taking it was because I was white. She didn't have an answer. I think her husband was shocked that I had not only said no to having the photo taken but then marched over, put my hand over the lens and explained the reason why. Molly and I discussed this later and decided that this is probably what celebrities feel like - lots of unwanted attention from people who don't know you! However, this was only an annoyance and didn't ever make me feel unsafe or unhappy.

Agra and Taj Mahal:
Wow, what can I say about The Taj Mahal that hasn't already been said?! It's one of the 7 Modern Wonders of the World for a reason - it's absolutely stunning! Being a lover of all things symmetrical I was bound to like it and even the 750 rupees (vs 20 rupees for Indians!) entry fee wasn't enough to put me off! It truly is beautiful and I could have stayed there and stared at it all night, if I hadn't got heat stroke from the 44 degree heat before that!
On the way home we stopped at a temple and I made the stupid decision to get off the bus. One of the little street children who looked about 5 years old (who in reality was probably 8 or 9) took one look at me and decided that I was a soft target. He spent the next 45 minutes following me around and asking me to buy a musical instrument from him. Even when I got back on the bus he stood at the window, stared at me with his puppy dog eyes and begged me to buy something. And even as the bus started to move he followed, still bargaining with me! I took the same stance as I did when I was in Nepal and beggars would ask me to help - the fact is that I can't help everyone. I came to make a small difference to the lives of the girls in Hassan and I hope I managed to do that. There are too many people in India who need help and I will go mad if I attempt to help them all so, to keep myself sane, I needed to say no (about 6 million times!!!) to this child!

Things that I will miss about India:

• The girls at Hassan. The way they call flips flops 'slippers' and the way they are always looking out for me when we are outside the boarding house when it's me, as the adult, who should be looking out for them! I really enjoyed conversations we had with the girls about the differences in our traditions and culture and I hope that some of them will manage to visit UK/ USA at some point in their lives so that they can experience the differences for themselves.
• Being called Auntie (although, Steve and Gordon, don't feel that you need to go to any drastic measures to fill this void in my life just yet!)
• The Indian head bob that essentially means Yes/ No/ Maybe/ I hear you and understand/ I hear you and don't understand/ I'm not listening at all but feel that I need to gesticulate/ you're an idiot Auntie Jenny or pretty much anything else in the world
• The sunsets! The sun is so huge here that it is a phenomenal sight to see (see Facebook photos)
• The food - I'm pleased to say that I still like rice after 7 weeks of pretty much just eating rice! Puri and Dosa will make me fat before I leave but it's worth the heart attack!
• The cows who just walk down the street, stopping traffic whilst they eat rubbish! They're all so used to humans that you can walk right next to them and they don't bat an eyelid! I've also heard that McDonalds here doesn't sell any beefburgers due to the country's love of the cow - pretty awesome!
• The cheap transport - for me to travel the distances I have in England would have cost me hundreds of pounds. Here I have spent next to nothing.

Things that have saddened me about India:

• The girls feel that they need to put white powder on their faces before they leave the boarding house to make themselves less dark. There is still a definite caste system here and it's sad that the children don't feel happy in their skin. There are also adverts on the TV for skin lightening products that don't help! The children are obsessed with my white skin and they sing pop songs about white being better which I have told them I don't like. No matter how many times I have explained to them that it's your personality and not your skin colour that counts, they don't hear me/ don't believe me.
• I walked through the streets of Delhi last night after my Agra tour (I was with a German guy that I met on the tour or I would have taken a tuktuk) and I was shocked at how many people were sleeping on the streets. Men were sleeping on top of their fruit stall tables and dogs were huddled in doorways. The dogs all have fleas, they are very malnourished and have skin conditions.
• There is a lot of litter on the streets of India. Molly and I have spent time educating the girls on why it is important not to litter and how recycling can help (I even created a recycling bin for them). However, I know in my heart that their little change, as positive as it is, will not be big enough to help the country as a whole to be cleaner. It saddens me to see people throwing plastic and paper out of train windows and I wonder whether it's a lack of education or a lack of pride in the country that makes them do it. Either way it is sad and will take a lot more than me to change it.

Overall, I've had  a great time in India. I've enjoyed learning about the cultural differences, eating different food and sweltering in the heat! Let's hope Vietnam is just as good - my flight's tomorrow and I'm very excited!

Last few days in Hassan

The last few days in Hassan

Well, we finally managed to finish the murals (photos on Facebook!) and they look great. The girls drew all of the scenes in the Surfing mural and a couple of them showed that they have real talent. Ashwini drew a very impressive swimming pool along with a lady on a surfboard. Sahana drew a mummy and baby elephant and they look amazing! The children picked all of the colours and did all of the painting – all Auntie Molly and I did was mix the paint and make sure that the paint ended up where it should (although we didn’t do very well at this as two light switches also managed to magically turn purple from their original white!).

Molly and I also painted a white and yellow welcome banner at the very front of the boarding house immediately in front of the murals. This involved standing on a very tall ladder whilst having my ankles attacked by flies. The bricks in the wall at the front have also been painted and the girls will each put a white handprint onto one brick. I did mine before I left (actually, I did it twice as the first time I didn’t have a thumb!).

On my last night the girls put on a skit for me that they had practiced (without me knowing) every evening for a week! It was really moving and I felt really lucky that they’d gone to so much trouble. Margaret was the MC and performed this role very well. Ashwini, Shalini, Divya, Shuthi and Mamatha all did a couple of dances for me that they’d learned by watching pop videos and they all sang a thank you song for me at the end. In the middle the children demanded that Molly and I perform a fashion show for them which we did badly! Right at the end Margaret spoke for all of the children and thanked me for The Wiz, the murals, things we’ve bought, parties we threw (particularly for her birthday where we lit up the hall with the glow sticks that Mum had sent for the girls) and English lessons that we’d conducted. It was really beautiful and brought many tears to my eyes! I read out the writing in the card that I had made for the girls and I almost managed to get to the end before crying! Afterwards we all ate together in the main hall, Shalini sat next to me and read the card over and over. She is very smart and I know that she will take on board the (hopefully!) inspirational words that I wrote in there.

Molly and I left the next morning after a breakfast of Puri/ Poori and peas (delicious!). I managed to eat 6.5 which is a personal best as, in Belize, I had only managed 5 (they were called fry jacks there). In the morning Shalini had cuddled me for the best part of 30 minutes and wouldn't let me go. She’d also clung to my hand when we went for a walk during their 30 minutes of exercise (they’re never usually allowed to go to the neighbouring villages so we wanted to treat them on the last couple of days). As I got in the jeep to go to Hassan train station all the children were asking me when I would come again.  I suggested that they all work hard at school, get good jobs and come and visit me. I have no idea how possible this is for these children but I know that the thought inspired some of them. I really hope I see them again – they’re great girls and I will miss them deeply.

I am currently sitting on the train from Mangalore to Goa. Yesterday Molly and I did the 6 hour (90 rupees/ £1.30) train ride from Hassan to Mangalore and stayed overnight in Mangalore. The train ride was brilliant. The scenery was beautiful as we went through tunnel after tunnel in the hills. All of the children on the train cheered each time we went through a dark tunnel and the atmosphere was wonderful. We passed millions of coconut trees, saw some fishermen in the river and experienced IndianRail at its best when we had to stop for regular scheduled stops to squeeze through the single tunnels after another train had come the other way. On the platform at Hassan we met a knight in shining armour who took it upon himself to help us without any hidden agenda. He helped us to get to the correct platform, he helped us to get seats on a very crowded train and he shepherded away unwanted attention from a man who was either on his way home from a night in at the bar or had started early that morning! It was a breath of fresh air! Today we are in the ladies only carriage on our way to Goa and it’s really relaxed. It’s a 5 hour journey today (update: it actually ended up being 7!), it’s very sweaty and hot but it’s still fun. Molly is currently playing with a baby and I have been entertaining the older children on the train with videos of Buster and the monkeys from Belize. They were learning all of the names and were asking questions about what the monkeys eat.

The girls (and the men!)

The girls:

We have 12 girls in the boarding house now as most of them have gone back to family for the rest of the summer holidays. One girl called Divya is 19 and has been working in Bangalore looking after the orphans there. When doing exercise we were surprised by her lack of motivation (and her ability to suck the motivation from the younger members of the group!) and she has a tendency to tantrum when she doesn’t get her own way when painting. I spoke with Sister Mary as I was interested to find out her history to see if some of this could be explained. It turns out that her Dad is an alcoholic and her Mum struggled with this to the point that she suffered with mental illness. One day her Mum was overwhelmed by the drinking and murdered her son in front of her three daughters (one of whom wasDivya)!!! This is quite common in India apparently!

There are also 2 sisters here called Ashwini and Shalini. They are both very beautiful and their English is very good. Shalini wants to be an engineer when she’s older. For a long while we believed that Amulya was also their sister as she spent a lot of time in their care, however, it now turns out that Sister asked Ashwini to look after Amulya when she is at the boarding house - she does a great job too! Amulya is an interesting little girl – she is aged 5/6 but she is very under-developed physically and could easily pass for 3/4. She was also very quiet when we arrived and generally talked through her 'sisters' rather than directly to us. We thought this was because she didn’t understand or speak English. In the past week she has decided that she’s ready to speak now and she has a brilliant grasp of the English language (and a very cute voice too!). The nuns are amazed as she’s talking a lot more to them too! She loves to paint and yesterday morning she was also asking for exercise even though it was Sunday and they don’t exercise on Sundays due to Mass. 

Nandini and Shuthi appear to be cousins. They are both very affectionate and if one of them spots me coming down the stairs from my room you can guarantee that she’ll be clinging to my arm within seconds! Neither of them have any parents and, from what I can gather, Nandini (who’s about 4 years older) looked after Shuthi after she arrived at boarding which created a really special bond. Nandini would like to be an elderly care nurse and will train as a nurse next year when she’s 18. I spoke with Nandini about marriage and she informed me that the Sisters will arrange a marriage for her once she has finished her studies.Shuthi’s English isn’t brilliant but she is a wonderful artist. She drew the Lion on The Wiz mural and it’s perfect!

Mamatha would like to be a dancer when she’s olderand I actually think she might be able to do it! She has lovely rhythm and she is very good at watching Bollywood movies and copying the routines. Mamatha did a Henna tattoo on my feet yesterday and it actually looks quite good. She told me that she’s been to Mysore 10 times as a chaperone with other volunteers who have wanted to visit the city.

Ramia and Maheshwari are sisters. Maheshwari has just gone home for the summer but the family can’t afford to have both children back so Ramia will go next year (she also went last year). Maheshwari’s dress that she was wearing yesterday has a broken zip so she spent the whole day being undone! I assume that this is a hand-me-down dress from Ramia that hasn’t lasted over the years. If I can find a zip in Hassan then I will attempt to fix it for her. The other day Maheshwari and Molly were talking about the fish curry that the girls would be eating for dinner. Maheshwari’s response when asked what she thought of fish was “I come vomit” – priceless!

Shaini doesn’t have any parents but she does have one alcoholic brother. She will go to visit him tomorrow for a couple of weeks. She is very excited! Shaini painted the sky in The Wiz mural and it was wonderful to see the level of concentration and commitment to detail. She would like to a singer/ dancer when she’s older.

Sahana(14) has just got a place in a school in Hassan for which she had to take an entrance exam (her English is very good). She will live in a hostel a little bit away and she will cycle in each day. She is excited and scared in equal measure. 4 other girls from the village will go with her but they will live on campus. Sahana has a tendency to get moody for no good reason – I will find out from Sister Mary what her background is so that I can further understand this.

Margaret is the last girl to mention. Before he passed away her father was an alcoholic and Sister Mary has told me that Margaret often voiced strong negative feelings about him. Margaret can be wonderfully helpful (if she’s around she won’t let me carry anything and won’t let me empty my own rubbish bin into the heap in the back!) but she’s also one of our biggest challenges. She is very loud (and has a brilliant grasp of the English language which means we can’t tune her out!!!) and has a tendency to tantrum if one of the other girls has upset her. She seems to have more disputes with the girls than anyone else and has needed a lot of attention recently. However, she is learning that she must raise her hand before speaking in English class (the Jumping Jack punishment that Molly introduced has helped with this!) and that shouting and deliberately messing up isn’t always the best way to get our attention. Margaret has particularly bad teeth which are yellow and underdeveloped. I am aware that Paul is talking about getting a dentist sorted for the girls so hopefully they can do something with Margaret’s teeth.

Trip into Hassan:

I went into Hassan two days ago to pick up my emails as we don’t have internet access at the boarding house due to an electrical storm. This meant a 50 minute journey on a bumpy bus. When walking through Hassan I was punched in the arm by a man (I think I had offended him just by being me?!) and the staring continued at the same level as in Mysore. On the way back we (Sahana and I) needed to get off the bus at Alur and get into a car to travel the last 30 minutes to Josephnagar. Sahana and I sat opposite each other and a young man (18 ish) sat next to Sahana. This man felt it appropriate to start rubbing my leg with his leg. I said “no” to him which he obviously thought meant “please continue but now start rubbing my leg with your hand too”. I firmly said “no” to him again and looked out of the window to avoid any eye contact with him. When I looked back into the carriage after a minute or so I was horrified to see that he had moved his hand onto Sahana’s leg! I promptly lent forward, picked up his hand from her leg and put it in the same position on his own leg. He recoiled in shame at this point as, I assume, most women wouldn’t do that to him, especially not in a crowded car! It astounds me that this is acceptable in India. I have said before that it’s not pleasant for me to experience unwanted attention but when it’s directed at a child this is completely unacceptable. Sahana was sent as a chaperone (to show me how to get to Hassan etc) which I felt was unnecessary to start with but it was Sister Mary’s way of showing me good hospitality. Now I feel, as nice as the gesture is, it’s a massive hindrance as not only do I need to keep myself safe (which is difficult in this county!) but I also have to keep a child safe. Next time I will go with Molly or go on my own.

On a completely separate note, I'm in love.... with MANGOES! It's mango season here at the moment and they are wonderful! At dinner time and rush through my rice just to get to the mango eating part of the meal! YUMMY!

Random updates from India....

3^rd May 2013:

The whole village got together on 1^st May to celebrate St Joseph’s Day. The town (Josephnagar) is named after the Saint so they decorated the church, had a special mass with lots of visiting priests, had fireworks and paraded a massive float with a shrine of St Joseph through the village. The girls dressed up in their fancy clothes for the whole day and enjoyed the evening’s festivities.

Usually there are regular power cuts in this village (we can go all day without power sometimes) but on 1^st May there seemed to be power all day to power the lights that they had hung around the church. Although now, on 3^rd May, we haven’t had any power since about 6pm yesterday evening – we seem to have run out!!! This may also be due to the fact that we had an amazing thunder and lightning storm yesterday that lit up the sky for over an hour. The town seems to be getting powered by generators today but I don’t think they mind as they got some well needed rain last night.

Now that we are no longer rehearsing The Wiz with the girls we have started a new programme with them. This will include daily exercise at 7.30am where we make sure that the girls are ready to start the day. There is usually a chorus of “it’s paining” to which the stock response from both Molly and I is “it’s meant to hurt!”. The exercise that the girls were doing before we arrived involved pointing their toe and lifting their leg off the ground 10 times before changing and repeating on the other leg. We have devised a 30 minute workout that involves running, skipping, squats, jump squats, plank, pushups and yoga to finish. We are trying to teach the girls that they need to look after their bodies and exercise is one way of doing this. Yesterday we also worked with the girls on their English and played a game that incorporated some spelling too. Later on in the day we walked down to the (dried up) river and played cricket with the new cricket set that Molly and I bought in Cochin and Nandini taught me a song in Canada. Shalini also taught me some of the names of the parts of the body in Canada too. Over the next couple of weeks we will also go into Hassan to watch a Bollywood movie (we were meant to go yesterday but there are elections going on and it wouldn’t be safe as there would be lots of crowds and Molly and I won’t blend in), paint a mural of The Wiz and a mural of Surfing in Kerala and do some baking/ cooking.

A couple of days ago Molly and I created a presentation for the girls on personal hygiene and monthly cycles. As I mentioned before, some of the girls are really bad at taking baths so we explained to them why we need to stay clean and what can happen if we don’t. We also showed them the best way to clean their teeth and explained that this needed to be done at least two times a day. Lastly we took the bigger girls aside and spoke to them about the female reproductive system, changes during puberty and monthly cycles. I believe that in the Hindu faith, periods are seen as a dirty, negative thing that is embarrassing. We explained that all of the changes that their bodies are going through are natural and that they should come and speak with us if they have any concerns or questions. The girls were interested to see the diagram that we had pulled off the internet of the female reproductive system and had a few good questions for us at the end. I think we helped them to understand a little bit more but I guess we’ll wait and see if their habits change.

7^th May 2013

This weekend Molly and I took a trip into Mysore to tour the palace and relax after a straight month with the girls. I never felt unsafe but I did feel awkward with the level of staring in our direction at points. This started on the train (which cost 35p/ 50c for the 3 hour journey!) as it was obvious that we were the first white people they’d ever seen. Add to that the fact that I had my shoulders out (!) and Molly is almost 6’ tall - we were never going to be able to blend in! I got up to give my seat to an older lady midway through the journey and stood near the door to get a good view of the scenery. This meant that all the men who got on at the next stops stood in the doorways instead of moving into the carriage so that they could “accidentally” bump into the white girl. One man blatantly put his hand on my bum to move past me (which took him a lot longer than it should!) but that was as bad as it got. Once we arrived in Mysore we were asked a couple of times if people could take photos of us and children turned and ran as soon as they spotted us! We were also targeted a lot by beggars asking for money which was to be expected.

Mysore palace, however, was stunning (photos to follow later) and they lit it up on the Sunday before we left which was really special. I was interested to see that, as tourists, we had to pay over 10 x the amount to get in as natives did! We also went to a spa and had an authentic Indian head massage along with visiting Chamundi Hill (one of 8 sacred hills in South India) and eating a well-deserved pizza and diet coke (rice 3 x a day washed down with water can become a little much!). One interesting thing that I saw was cows just roaming free in the streets, eating rubbish. They stopped traffic as they are so well respected that they won’t be moved on until they’re ready to go of their own accord. I also saw a man pulling recyclable rubbish out of the bin presumably to sell later in the day and lots of scary driving (horns galore and no rules that I could see!).

Once we arrived in Hassan the girls met us at the station and we went to see our first Bollywood movie. It was brilliant! It cost 800 rupees total for 14 people to see the movie (this is approximately $16 or £11) and it was fantastic fun. The auditorium erupted when each lead character was seen for the first time (much like seeing theatre in America) and deafening whistles filled the air when the lead female, a lady who is famous in Bollywood movies, came on. The dances were wonderfully cheesy, the voice dubbing over the movie was hilariously obvious and the talking dogs looked like something straight off YouTube! My personal favourite, however, was the music. It would swell in a dramatic fashion as the actor would react theatrically into the camera or if the action was slowed down for dramatic effect (when there was a fight or a verbal disagreement). The girls enjoyed it a lot and I was pleased we’d managed to share the experience with them.

I have no internet at the moment at the boarding house (I've come into the city specifically for the internet today) so I apologise if there isn't much contact over the next few weeks.